I am so blessed to be from the Land of Enchantment. There is a Spiritual recognition that exists like no other place on earth. Pow Wow Dances set the rhythm for life and love throughout every day of the journey.

Lies didn’t fly so well there, at least not back in the 90’s. That culture came into my bones.

We didn’t know the lies we were living back then.

I found out some of them, and I shut myself off from spiritual possibility for a while.

I went hard, I got to the top of the food chain.

Then I gave it all up for spirituality, and took the leap of faith, all for a new soul.

I was proud, I made it out.,

For a minute there, I was like James Bond, man I was doing a stellar job on all fronts. Had ita ll mapped out all the safeties in place.

Then somehow I became a victim. And fell into this poor me tailspin where I cursed God this time, and this time I took the fall of all falls.

I paced in hell knowing I could go back to earth and obtain the justice some evil people were begging for.

I did this for a decade inventing a fantasy that when that soul that once saved me, would save me again.

That was selfish. That was naive. That was weak.

Now I accept radically my worst nightmare is true.

Like my new brother of a new kind of bond tells me, “We will never kill demons, they will never go away, we will learn to tame them…and we will have to every day:”

From that peak of self-development, I saw that it is our very advertisement that sharpens our blade.

 

Later down the path that illuminated as I followed it, enjoying the process, staying laser-focused on my goal and purpose, not letting a minute go to the waist, picking up speed, and putting on weight; I realized my momentum was severe.

 

I remembered this feeling, I was once a monster, once a saint, and now I have come back to spirit for me, not for another but for me.

It does not matter that I was a throw-away kid.

It does not matter that it took me till in my 40s to realize my own worth fully. I made it !

here, and from this peak I can see the next one, and I know where I am going.

Just two years ago I was lost and wanted to kill everyone I saw.

Now I even thank the demons I despise.

They are after all the very ingredients that gave me rise.

Eight years ago I died. Lost 60 lbs in three weeks

Ten years ago I died.

A man said if I came to church that week he would get baptized. I did, he did.

I made it to the gym a few times

five years ago I died.

Two little brothers committed suicide after struggling with addiction on the same day Feb 1 2019

I planted so many plants and trees and fed every dog and animal I could.. I went to nature.. for most of each day

I made it to the gym a few more times

Three years ago I drove a man with 6 bullets in him to the hospital no one would take him there, …a year earlier I wouldn’t have even had his family thank me to this day. he moved on from that area, and so did I …

I should have made the moves I am making now a long time ago. I should have been stronger. I can use that all to excuse the continuation of blaaaaa or I can do the harder thing and get tough about it all.

I know down deep what it is. How can I hate lies so much and lie to myself?

You are or you aren’t the guy, who does what it takes to be his best.

If you cut corners on yourself people will see that, and if you never cut corners on yourself people will see that.

I always why do it at all if you not going to do it right!!

I said that for years, and then life knocked me down for the count and I forgot it.

Stay the course killers!

 

The more we stay the course the harder the enemies that this video game of life sends at us. This truly is a divine training ground, and you may be on autopilot now, and cruising cool, but when the storm comes and it’s rough, you better have some muscle on that wheel.

Remember it is your spirit you must build.

I wish I would have heard this earlier.

I wish I had used what I know to be true earlier and been stronger.

It is not over, I will not go out easy. I will reach the destination and my adversity has been severe. I will apologize for my shortcomings while doing my best to hold strong moving forward.